Life of a Prem Baby Blog

Back to the past – First week in the life of Jenson

Posted on: 22/12/2010


That first week of Jensons life was a tough one, I wont lie, it wasnt easiest in the slightest. I was happy that Jenson was now in our lifes but went home after every visit with the worry that something might happen to him during the brief period that we were apart.

I knew he was in the best place possible if something were to happen, but it didnt stop me from worrying.

And the day that I went home from hospital was the worst, I felt like a bad mother. I was going home but my baby wasnt coming with me. I did have the option to stay longer if I had wanted but I just couldnt stand being in that hospital ward any longer and wanted the comforts of my own home. I felt selfish for feeling like this. I sometimes got the impression from some of the nurses in the Neonatal ward that I was perhaps doing the wrong thing and that i should be staying in hospital while my baby was still in.

That first night at home, as I was laying in my bed I lay there staring at my phone at the picture of my little boy. My heart ached to see him again and I felt so guilty for leaving him behind. I willed the night to go quickly so that I could soon be on my way to the hospital again.

That first week me and my husband devoted our lifes to going backwards and forwards to the hospital, we made sure we were on time for every Cares and thankfully I DID get quicker with my nappy changing. One thing I must say though, hospital parking charges are a nightmare!!! How can hospitals charge that much to visitors! We spent a fortune on parking charges while Jenson was in hospital!!

Each visit to the hospital was spent by Jensons side and asking for an update from the nurses on his progress. The time between the evening and the next morning visit was the worst for me, and it was at these times I felt my most guilty and when I worried the most.

Each day we visited we took photos on our phones of Jenson, to record the progress he was making. I look back on these photos now and I am still shocked at how tiny Jenson used to be, at the time he didnt seem so small but now I can see he was so tiny and very lucky to survive.

It must have been half way through that week that at one of our visits we were told the good news that Jenson could now come off of the antibiotics that the nurses had been giving him since he was born. The cultures had come back good, and this meant Jenson’s immune system was working properly. That great big needle in his right hand that was all bandaged up and turning his fingers purple could now come off!!

This was another momentous occasion for me and my husband, the fact that Jenson was now off one of the many drugs that were being pumped into him and that he could now cope by himself in this respect was fantastic. Yet another step closer to coming home.

This would also make changing his clothes a lot easier as well.

That first week Jenson developed nappy rash, and thats when we first really heard him cry. Changing his nappy at Cares time was torture for me, I hated hearing him scream in pain, it made me just want to pick him up and comfort him but of course it wasnt as easy as that because to do this I also had to unplug him from all the machines he was hooked up to. So I had to carry on with cleaning him up as best I could and comfort him by talking to him and stroking his face. The nurses assured me that the nappy rash wasnt anything to worry about and that it was extremely common in newborns, the nurses prescibe Jenson a nappy rash ointment cream that we were to apply at every nappy change and said that this should clear it up. Of course Jenson being in hospital also meant that perhaps he didnt have as many nappy changes as he could of had.

This probably didnt help with the nappy rash, so the nurses advised that Jensons nappy would be changed every few hours to try and help the rash to go away.

Even though the nappy rash was something minor to me it felt like something huge! Jenson had already gone through so much over the last week and now he had to contend with this. I hoped that the cream would work its wonder soon!

That first week my husband was with me at every Cares, we would take it in turns, getting into practice for when Jenson came home. However I knew the following week my husband would be returning to work and that it would just be me visiting during the day and doing Cares with Jenson.

This made me nervous, with my husband there it meant another pair of hands to help out, or someone to ask for advice if I was getting frustrated with something. Still I had to suck it up! Jenson was relying on me and I couldnt be such a wimp!

That week Jenson was also weighed for the first time since being born, his weight had dropped slightly at this weigh in and he now weighed 3 pound 11, two ozs less than his birth weight. This worried me, he already was just skin and bones and for him to loose even the smallest amount of weight was a big deal for him. The nurses advised me that weight loss in the first week of a newborns life was very normal and that hopefully at his next weigh in a few days later he would have put that weight back on. I had my fingers crossed that Jenson would be a good boy and drink all of his milk and prove the nurses right!

By the end of that first week I was exhausted. I couldnt help thinking how was I going to cope for however long Jenson was going to be in hospital? But I knew I just had to cope, there was no “I dont want to” or “I cant do this anymore”. My little boy was relying on me to be there to help look after him, I couldnt just think about myself now I had another little person who needed me

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